Indonesia Orders Pirates Shot on Sight

JAKARTA (Reuters) - Indonesia's naval chief has ordered his commanders to shoot dead armed pirates operating in key waterways including the busy Strait of Malacca, which carries a third of world trade. The Malacca Strait is a 500-mile channel through which about 50,000 commercial vessels pass each year, including ships ferrying 80 percent of Japan's oil needs.

Soon out of a Job?

"In the future, every thief at sea has to be shot dead and this should be publicized by the mass media to teach a lesson," Navy Chief of Staff Bernard Kent Sondakh said in a statement.

Pirate Hard at work.

When asked for a comment, a Pirate spokeman said only, "Yaaaar. Tis a shame. Many hard-workin' Pirates will be losin' their livelihoods."

Will all Pirates Be affected?
You know what Kind I mean.

German 'Samurai' on the Loose in Woods Near Berlin

Gratuitous Pic of Samurai Jack


BERLIN (Reuters) - A camouflage-clad German man wielding a samurai sword attacked at least seven hikers in forests west of Berlin, performing sword tricks before ordering them to leave the woods, police said Friday.
They suspect a 46-year-old local man who trained in martial arts and survival skills in camps in Papua New Guinea and Vietnam to be the attacker.
"He's dangerous and has been hard to find because he wears camouflage," said Catrin Feistauer, spokeswoman for the Nauen police department. Police have used infrared cameras mounted on helicopters to try and track him down.
The man pushed two elderly people off their bikes and, flashing his sword, shouted at them to leave the forest. He later tried to drive a young couple out of the woods. No one was seriously hurt.

"It's frightening because the violence level has increased each time," Feistauer said.

OOOOOOOOHHHHH... PUSHING OLD PEOPLE OFF THEIR BIKES AND SHOUTING AT TEENAGERS? SOMEBODY ALERT THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, WE HAVE ANOTHER SUPERVILLIAN ON OUR HANDS!

HE THINKS HE LOOKS LIKE THIS


MY GUESS IS THAT HE LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS.



JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA

'Dr. Chaos' gets 21 years

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A man who admitted hiding deadly cyanide in a Chicago subway tunnel in 2001 was sentenced to nearly 21 years in prison Thursday for conspiring to knock out power lines, burn buildings and damage computers in Wisconsin. Joseph Konopka, 27, who calls himself "Dr. Chaos," will serve the first 11 years of the sentence at the same time he finishes the 13-year prison term from Illinois. He will serve about 23 years in prison. Prosecutors said Konopka was the self-appointed leader of a loose affiliation called "The Realm of Chaos," which recruited youths to engage in property damage. Konopka was sent to prison last year for taking two bottles of cyanide from an abandoned chemical warehouse and hiding them in the subway. He said he had considered using the cyanide to commit suicide.

Dr. Chaos
"Unremorseful", vows revenge on Superman.

A NEW CHALLENGE FOR THE SUPERFRIENDS: SOBRIETY!

LOSERS IN COSTUMES SERIES 1


Personally I like to see my Superheroes with drinks in their hands. One question though. Can Superman get Superdrunk? Does he get Superhangovers? I know I sure as hell do, and I'm not even from Krypton! "Able to drink 12 Pints in a single evening!" Kinda looks like Batman can't really handle his booze.

DEATH OF A SUPERVILLIAN

THIS GUY HAS THE WHOLE SUPERVILLIAN THING GOING ON!!! WAY COOLER THAN GREASY OLD OSAMA!!!! WHY COULDN'T OSAMA AT LEAST PIMP IT OUT A LITTLE BIT? THIS GUY HAS BEEN STUDYING!!! TOO BAD!! NICE CHOICE OF RED FOR THE BACKGROUND, I WONDER HOW LONG THEY ARGUED ABOUT THAT ONE?


RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - The leader of al-Qaida in Saudi Arabia was believed killed in a raid in the capital Friday, hours after his group claimed the beheading of an American engineer, Saudi security officials said. A U.S. official confirmed that al-Moqrin has been killed. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the information.
Al-Moqrin, who trained with Osama bin Laden (news - web sites) in Afghanistan (news - web sites), is believed to be the leader of the group calling itself al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula, which claimed responsibility for Johnson's beheading.
Two suspects escaped, he said, said one Saudi security official who took part in the raid.

THE GUYS THAT GOT AWAY

Star Wars Christmas Special

The long-forgotten, long-denied ugly truth. Right after the smash success of Star Wars, they made an ill-advised variety show special with all your favourite Star Wars chums, as well as Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman, Art Carney, Jefferson Starship and the Centre Square himself, Paul Lynde!!!!


Q: Is Billy Graham considered a good dresser?
A: No, but he's a terrific end table.

Why George, Why?

THE INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES!

SEE: the dancing girls of the carnival murdered by the incredible night creatures of the midway!

SEE: the hunchback of the midway fight a duel of death with the mixed up zombies!

SEE: the world's first monster musical!

Your Mission, Should you Choose to Accept it...

I awoke in a ugly haze, and crawled out from the wreckage, relieved to have survived! Another Zombie attack last night! I look around, broken glass, beer cans and pizza boxes everywhere. Zombies sure drink a lot of beer! And not just cheap beer! They seem to have expensive tastes for imported german beer.... pesky Zombies! I wish they'd at least chip in for the pizza every now and then... and they're so picky!

Zombie 1: "Graaaagh! Zombie no like Olives! Sundried Tomatoes! Tomatoes!"

Zombie 2:"Unnngh! No Sundried tomatoes!!!! Brains!!!"

Me: "Um guys, I don't think Massimo's has brains for a topping, wait...no they do!"

Both Zombies: "Brains!!!! Brains!!!"

Me (on phone to Pizza Guy) "And extra brains on One half....are you guys gonna chip in on this? Guys?"

Zombies: "Unnngh! Graaaagh!"

Whenever it's their turn to pay, suddenly they can't speak Zombie english anymore. I call it Zomblish, or Zinglish. They're kinda like my friend's Korean Mother that way... well in a few ways actually.

Oops, there goes the Codec. Delta Colossus needs me.

So anyway, as a member of NDS (Nerf Death Squad) you will not be in contact with any other Operatives. We all act independantly of each other. That way, if you are captured, you will not be able to betray any vital information. We incorporate your training into your day-to-day life, it has commenced already. That bus you have to run for, the extra-heavy backpack, the elevator that's not working, the shooting game you friend wants to play at the arcade, these are all part of your basic training. Commit yourself to surmount every obstacle in your way and you will be succesful. Trust no one except yourself. When you have been selected, we will contact you. The mission may be a Nerfination, or simply a transfer of funds from your bank account to mine... I mean the Organizations. Here are your passwords. Please commit them to memory.

Codename: Spotty Trackpants
Activation Phase: Rubber Bedsheets Surprise

Please familiarize yourself with these weapons:

Armoury

The main job of NDS of course, is the complete eradication of all Zombies! How can you do it with just Nerf, you ask? Well, when the Nerf projectiles have been soaked in Bio-Gen Neurotoxin, an Anti-Narcosis pathogen, the answer is obvious.

You may think you are too cute/cool/strong/smart to be eaten by Zombies but you are wrong. I knew someone else who thought like that, and she.... she... I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say I have sworn a sacred vow:

DESTROY ALL ZOMBIES!!!!!

(inspired by and dedicated to jen)

Top Two Ways to Kill Zombies!!!

Typical Zombie

Not so pretty Anymore, eh Devereaux?

Western Method

Effective but limited...What if you run out of bullets?

Eastern Method

Effective AND Hilarious. Zombie limbs flying everywhere!

MaD WiCkEd C 64 HiPhOp!!!!!! AzN PrIDe 4EvAh!!!!!!

I'm gonna start makin some C64 R & R!!!!!!!!

Lo-Fi Funk