Zombie Infection Simulator

I haven't seen 28 Days Later yet. (I know, shocking!) But my buddy Dave saw it and said "Eh. Not exactly a proper Zombie flick."

But what am I? A purist? Hardly.

I'm not one of those 'ZOMBIE SNOBS' who shun anything not by Dario Argento or Lucio Fulci. In fact, I don't like Gore/Slasher/Horror films at all. I haven't even seen Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, or any of those films. They all seem to have some bizarre subterranean right wing agenda. And although I'm no Mr. Politically Correct, it bothers me that so much of the violence in those movies is directed towards women. Anyway.

Back to 28 Days Later. "More like The Omega Man," Dave claims, and that's not a bad thing! When I was a kid we used to play "Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland" all the time. It was one of my favourite games. We had two teams, Warriors and Mutants. Being a Mutant was the most fun. Those were some good days, we had so much fun, but eventually we discovered our penises, and started playing other games. And yes, "Omega Man" qualifies as a Zombie film in my book. It reminds me of another film we argue about a lot. LIFEFORCE. I love it, Dave thinks it's B-Movie Rubbish. But if you ever see it ANYWHERE on VHS, DVD or on a VCD, get it! I'll pay you back later, honest. Dave is very disappointed with the new attitudes in Zombie films. The speed of the Modern Zombie is what bothers him the most. The days of the lumbering Zombie are long gone. Today's Zombie is fast, agile, and capable of cool Matrix-style moves. "Fine with me," I say to Dave. "The Action Hero of Today needs a worthier opponent. An Upgrade. Super-Mecha-Zombies." We order more pitchers. "Get with the times, Dave," I say, "It's the 90's." To which he points out the obvious. Then walks me home to make sure I don't fall asleep in the gutter.

Oh right. The simulator.

http://kevan.org/proce55ing/zombies/